My father taught me to see opportunity where others see obstacles. It changed everything.
I also know how much of a blessing that mindset was for me. I remember pulling out of our driveway in South Holland, Illinois, the first time my dad told me this. And when I say "first time," I should be clear: I've heard it many times.
He asked me, "Darryl, do you know who the luckiest people in the world are?"
I said, "No."
He said, "The luckiest people in the world are Black men. You know why? Because if you are qualified and prepared, people are looking for spaces to put you in and looking for opportunities for you. They're looking for people like you."
That message stuck with me.
All throughout my life, because I heard it over and over again, I never looked at being a Black male as a victim. My mindset was: If I'm prepared, if I'm ready, people are looking for me. I'll have more opportunities than I can imagine.
I didn't realize until my late 20s that not everyone thought this way. At an event, I remember another speaker saying, "We didn't get chosen because we were Black. It would be easier if we were white, or like them." That idea had never once crossed my mind.
Could what he was saying be true? Yeah.
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.
But in that moment, I was thankful for my dad. Maybe I missed opportunities because I was judged for something I couldn't control. Maybe there were people who judged me before they knew me. However, I never let that become the frame through which I looked at life. My frame was, be prepared, be ready, and the opportunities will come. I went through life (and still do) thinking I was ready, I was prepared, this was mine!
Do I know discrimination exists? Absolutely.
While we had conversations about being the luckiest person, we also had conversations about what to do when a police officer pulls you over, being that you are a Black man. But what I also know is how much of a blessing that mindset was for me early on and still now. And I can't help but wonder how many people, in spite of discrimination, in spite of how they're judged for race, sexuality, or anything else, could benefit from that belief:
If you are prepared, if you are ready, the world will present opportunities to you.
That's what you can control. You can't control what people think about you, only the actions you take.
And my mom would always add her perspective: "What God has for you, is for you."
